Well that Really Sucks
Sometimes things are just shitty.
A situation.
A person.
A conversation.
Whatever it is, "this sucks" may be your first thought.
But many of us our taught that we're not supposed to think or say that. That a transformed leader rises above and finds the "positive".
That is not real.
We learn to label feelings good vs. bad.
However, those labels are made up, there is simply a full range of emotions humans can have.
I will listen to the leaders I work with share something that hurt them or scares them or pisses them off, and often, without even a pause, they will say something like "Well, anyhoo, I guess I should ...".
While there is nothing wrong with looking for the learning in something, I highly recommend it AT SOME POINT ...
... It doesn't have to be the first point though.
Because when we try to bypass a feeling, we never really get to let it go.
And then wonder why we are walking around emotionally constipated and rolling our eyes at our fellow human's emotions (or maybe eye-rolls are my thing 🤷♀️, what's yours?).
When you feel stuck in something. When you feel like you can't see your way through the thing. When you feel yourself ruminating on a thought.
It could be that you need to take a moment and be real about how much that "thing" really sucks.
Someone in your life will listen.
And if you've trained people to solution with you, you may need to say "hey, I need to vent and I'm not interested in a solution right now. I just want to be super real and venty for a bit. Are you up for that?"
There is power in your humanity. There is power in being with other people's humanity.
You know what I have found after I gently pause my clients and ask if they'd like to vent before moving on to what they think needs to be done?
It clears the air and they come up with something they couldn't even see before.
So maybe "this really sucks" is access to another level of imagination. 🧐
